Why Did I create Be Move Have?

Why did I create Be Move Have? I brought this platform into existence out of my own battles as a woman entrepreneur silently wrestling with overwhelming anxiety and crippling depression. Be Move Have was born because it's precisely what I longed for during the early days of my first business venture.

Let me transport you back to that pivotal moment. I was enrolled in the stellar women's entrepreneurship program WISE (Chicagoans may recall this gem!). We were delving into the fundamental building blocks of building a thriving business. What's more, we were given the opportunity to apply our knowledge in the real world, testing our products at a bustling pop-up shop in the heart of the Daley Center during the Christmas holiday season.

On the surface, it seemed like a recipe for success, even if your products were only average, but there was one catch. The only thing standing in the way was your own relentless self-doubt and paralyzing fear of striking up conversations with strangers. Yes, you guessed it, that was my challenge.

This set the stage for years of struggles in connecting with potential buyers, facing the same issues repeatedly, and having no one to turn to for guidance in navigating this intricate terrain. I knew the smart business moves to make, I comprehended what I should be doing, but the actual act of overcoming the overwhelming anxiety and executing those steps was an entirely different ordeal.

It felt like a truth I couldn't share with anyone, a burden I thought no one would truly grasp, and worst of all, the possibility that they might dismiss my struggles as mere laziness and a lack of desire (and believe me, they did).

Now, years later, having become a seasoned serial business owner and entrepreneur, I am resolute in my determination not to let other women silently grapple with the challenges I endured. Be Move Have now stands as a beacon, providing ambitious and committed women a genuine source of compassionate empowerment to transcend fear and thrive.

How I Found Out I was an Empathic Snob...

Photographer: John Canelis | Source: UnsplashPhotographer: John Canelis | Source: Unsplash

I was intrigued by my default responses. This post was clearly triggering me - but why? Why did I care so much that someone was tooting their own horn? Why did it matter to me one bit at all that through tooting his own horn, he'd received hundreds of messages affirming his "awesomeness" and hundreds more brownie points in the form of the desperately sought after "likes" confirming that?

Why on this beautiful earth did I care? And even more importantly, why did it sting so much for a dear friend to then call me out as an intellectual snob when I mentioned my affliction to him?

These were my ponderings on a slow Sunday when all the world felt a little too melancholy and grey for my liking. This is when I got all the way into feeling like I am not for this world and all the way back to, I am exactly for this world.

Let me explain.

It all has to do with this word empath and my new revelations on how I have been living a mostly shielded life instead of the fully empowered life that I thought I was living. I thought that I had done such a good job of crafting my life. My outside triggers were few and far in between. I mostly had people around me that supported me and looked at life similarly to me. I didn't interact on a regular base with people that upset me.

I thought this was good. I thought this was cause to pat myself on the back. I thought living inside of my bubble was a positive thing to be celebrated.

But what I've been realizing over these past few weeks is that in fact, maybe this is NOT a good thing anymore. What I've been slowly seeing is that where it was good back then, when I needed shielding and a safe place, now there is good reason to change and diversify my exposure and experiences.

What I've been realizing is that I've not been allowing myself to really go there with people, to really let myself completely feel, connect and understand them individually and intimately for fear (subconscious mind you) that I'll get lost there - that I'll get lost in all that it means to be them.

Right now, I control my exposure to pain very well. My own pain is more than enough lol. Allowing myself to be openly exposed to other people's pain brings on the fear of not being able to control it - not being able to shut the gates and stop the flow.

And so what do you subconsciously do as an empath? - you shut it completely down and you begin creating this false sense of disconnect/superiority/intellectual distance.

It's protection and fear and it's very subtle. This isn't your blunt - "I don't like you, I like you" deal. This is much more nuanced and whispery. It's a silent forcefield that once protected you and now just isolates you. It feels very safe, but it also keeps you from really connecting. And you have to wonder if, as an empath, at some point, it keeps you from really doing the work you're here to do.

So this is my current challenge. I'm actively exploring ways to engage more fully with the world and practice NOT being overwhelmed by the world. And by "the world" I mean with individual people of the world - engaging with them genuinely without deflective INFJ, empathic barrier shields up or self-deprecating tactics in play. Finding the ways to "feel them" without getting lost "within them".

I've had many years of strengthening my own boundaries and learning how to let energy and feelings flow through me, especially those that aren't mine. I feel like I'm strong enough to put it into better practice. So we shall see.

And what about you? How are you doing on this front? I know that many of you struggle with your own version of this type of empathic barrier. Maybe you are on the side of not having enough of a barrier. Or perhaps you too have been way too rigid with yourself and the world as of late.

It's good food for thought and there is a lot of gold to be found within it. I encourage you to explore and if you like, we can explore it together in an intuitive tarot reading. I'm offering these again and I'd love to read for you!

You can purchase a reading here: Empowerment Readings

Inner/Outer Beauty Activation Package

A few days ago I was hit with some wonderful inspiration around creating an offering that would provide a solid foundation for activating both inner and outer beauty. You know I'm all about how we want to match up our outer enhancements with a beautiful inner self that shines through no matter what!

SO my inspiration has resulted in the Inner/Outer Beauty Activation Package!

It's 3-fold. This is what I will do for you:

Firstly, I want you to know what is blocking your ability to shine confidently. What's holding you back from stepping fully into what you are being drawn to? What hidden doubts, secrets, worries and fears lie right beneath the surface waiting to be seen and resolved? I will do an intuitive tarot reading for you shining the light on these things so that you can finally take the steps forward that you've been wanting to for so long.

This reading will be the basis for what comes next. What comes next is the assembly of your special MOVE Makeup Inner to Outer Beauty makeup set. You'll receive your confidence building basics - full-size foundation, concealer, and veil. More importantly though, you'll receive a specially customized eyeshadow set designed to address the blocks that came up in your reading. If you haven't read my article about how eyeshadow can be used for empowerment, go do that now (http://www.bestkeptself.com/whats-your-color-eyeshadows-for-empowerment/).

Lastly, you'll receive an essential oil blend that I customize just for you to enhance and anchor in your reading and to inspire within you new courage to shine confidently.

The investment for all of this is $97.

I'm excited about this. I'm excited to see who takes me up on this offer and truly if *anyone* takes me up on this offer. I'm excited to see how the inspiration to create this package leads me to the next thing for me.

I have no idea if I will offer this again. I have no idea how many of these I will actually accept doing. I don't have a fancy page created for this offering or even a listing in my store or jazzed up picture (I'm working on that though ;-)). I've just felt inspired to do it and this is how that inspiration is manifesting <3.

Thank you sistar for your awesomeness! If I can serve you with this, message me (on mobile you might have to copy and paste info@leahpatterson.com) and we will get started!

#7daysforme Challenge Day 1

Day 1 in my #7daysforme Challenge starts today and it begins with choosing my word for 2016!

So I've thought a lot about my word for this year and I've finally settled upon COURAGE (to be a Catalyst). I chose this word and this phrase because when I look back on my life, the one thing that has always held me back from the biggest blessings is fear. Fear to try something and not have it go the way I want it to. That may sound strange and unbelieveable coming from me, but it is 100% true! So this year, I'm going to place COURAGE where there is fear :-). 

What's your word?

Life Lessons Learned from Missing Both Tricks

Hey salsa sistas! I have a story to tell. It's going to end up as a story of empowerment but it's going to start off as one of embarrassment :-/. Stay with me! 

As you all may know, I don't just own a dance studio in my town and relegate myself to teaching. I still love to and do  perform. Yep, I still got it, lol ;-). 

BUT, running a dance studio, running a makeup/skincare business, teaching in the dance studio, and still living some version of a normal life can be a little time consuming. So that means time to practice on my own stuff can be a little hard to come by. I'm sure you can relate when you think about your own whirlwind of responsibilities. 

But my dance partner is pretty awesome, crazy dedicated, and truly a blessing (we'll talk about how the universe drops stuff in your lap and then tells you NOW it's time - even when you'd let go of that dream a while ago in a later post). All that to say I could not let him down. 

So I practiced my arse off. I was sore. I was tired. But I was gonna do one more time no matter what. As many times as he hit play, I was gonna hang. 

And so I thought I was ready! There was NO way I was gonna mess up this show. I knew all of my cues. My timing was impeccable. I was poised, calm, in performance mode and ready to rock it. 

And you know what. I totally bombed, like crashed and burned both tricks. BOTH TRICKS my people. Both tricks. Aghast! Sink into the floor. Stop the music and just slink off stage right?! At the very least, spend the rest of the night sulking. Go hide in the corner. Refuse to dance with anyone. Better yet, just go on back to the hotel and wallow in bed - with wine. 

Oh how easy that would have been! So many times, I've done some version of that! I've let my whole entire mojo be knocked off kilter by - what shall we call it - LIFE! And that's all it really is - it's just life - things happen. Just that simple! 

I mean let's be real - what in the world could I have done to change that outcome. I'd already put my best foot forward. No one could have made me believe I should have worked harder to prepare because I was working my hardest. On the night of, I made sure I was rested. I went over the routine in my head. I was in game mode. I was ready. And it still happened. I still flopped the big moments.

And it struck me as I walked off stage, half smiling/half laughing at myself that 'oh well, I flopped but you know what, I still had fun!' AND I still rocked out that show. There was like at least 2 minutes of that show that were OFF THE CHAIN (if I do say so myself). Both of those tricks - 5 seconds tops :-P. Why waste mental energy on  5 seconds? 

And that's a lot like life my salsa sistas. That struck me a few days later. Things are going to flop. We are not going to do 100% like we want to all the time. We are going to try our absolute best - and it's still going to fall short.

My question for you is this - why focus on the 3 or 4 inches you missed instead of focusing on the freaking football field of progress you made? Yes, I like to exaggerate sometimes, but you get what I'm saying right? Which part is really worth your time? Which focus makes you stand up and be happy and proud of yourself. Which focus makes you shrink and try to hide in the shadows. 

You are too awesome to hide deary so as of today, new challenge! For everything that doesn't quite go your way, make yourself pick out the things that were actually pretty cool about it. They are there - you just might have to work a little on that perspective of yours to see it :).

But when you do, I promise you'll be sitting a little higher and feeling a little sassier ;-).

And life won't seem like such a mean punk after all ;-).