My Tarot Card of the Year

The end of the year is mostly about processing and evaluating for me. This is the time when I gather up the pieces of myself that may have been scattered by the year and decidely put myself back to gether the way I want to be. One practice I always engage in is self-reflection. I've been really drawn to my Tarot cards since the middle of this year and as you know, I've started to read a lot more and even opened back up to reading for the public(->my Etsy Shop!) and making it an integral part of my coaching sessions. 

So when I happened upon Lisa Frideborg's Tarot Card of the Year analysis, I immediately jumped on figuring out what my tarot card year will be for 2017. I'm a big fan of numerology and use it in almost everything I do. It’s become second nature to think about the numerology of things as I make choices and plans. So of course, combining tarot and numerology are right up my alley.

But I can’t say that I was ecstatic when I figured out what my year was lol. This coming year, 2017 is a Death year for me, as in correlating with the Death Tarot Card #13. Yes, lol on first appearances this did not cause me to leap with joy. I honestly feel like I just went through a Death Year where so many things ended and had to be let go of. The Death card in the Tarot is rarely about actual Death but is more about things ending and transforming in order for new growth to happen. It’s the ultimate stop/no more/don’t pass go/get off this train card. And there was a lot of that this year. Tarot wise, this year was a Hanged Man year though and when I thought about that, it did make sense.

The Hanged Man card in the Tarot is about making the ultimate sacrifice. It’s about doing things that don’t feel good at all for the good of all and for the ultimate best good for yourself. In the process though, it feels like you are being stretched absolutely thin and pushed to your most extreme limits. Being the Hanged Man is tough to say the least.

And that also applies to this past year. In fact, it probably does apply more than Death does because honestly, I wasn’t ready to make those changes. If I could have had my way, I would have held on tightly and continued on with every single thing I had to let go of this year. I would have continued to try to make them work somehow. But being the Hanged Man requires that you let go and let yourself, your desires, and your wants become less important. And this year was definitely about that.  

So when I think about the coming year, it leaves me thinking about what else needs shedding, stopping, or transforming. What I do know is that life will show me. The universe will most definitely bring it up for me to look at and act accordingly. What I’m thinking this being a Death Year means though is that it won’t nearly be as hard. I’ll be ready to let things go if they aren’t serving me anymore. It will be easy to choose the routes that lead to enlightenment and fulfillment instead of holding on to patterns that are only spiraling down or nowhere at best.

Can we say amen to that?! So I can actually say that I’m not afraid of this year bringing on more endings and transformations. I’m ready for it. It truly is time for some patterns of which I’ve just grown accustomed to end. I’m ready for a transformation in key areas of my life and I’m willing to go through the uncomfortable patches to get to the other side of it. And what’s the most comforting is that on the other side of Death is the Star – jubilation, renewal, celebration, and living in purpose. I’m all for a 2018 full of that ;-).

To find out your Tarot card of the Year, you can check out Lisa’s post here. I’ve designed a Tarot spread similar to hers to help me make the best start into the new year and fully explore my word/theme for 2017 ‘BE BIG’. I’m offering a $20 reading special for a mini-coaching session and Tarot exploration of your word for the year that you can take advantage of by grabbing a spot on my calendar ->(www.calendly.com/leahpatterson).

Here’s to fully stepping into the new year, eyes wide open saying yes please to all of the abundance we can receive! 

Full Moon Mojo

Tomorrow is a full moon - full moon in Gemini and apparently this last full moon (a supermoon) of the year is just as intense, if not more so, than the other super full moons this year. When I read about it here, omg, it made so much sense. It was actually comforting! 

This year has been so much of a transition for me. So much shedding and letting go. So much sadness and disappointment and creating of space for new and different and hopefully better things to replace the things that fell away. Not easy is an understatement. Trial by fire is a nice way to put it. 

Courage was my word for 2016 and like I've said a few times this year, oh my how the Universe has delivered on ways for me to display courage!

And so to hear that the final purge is upon us and that the time of purification and stripping bear is almost at an end - it's released such an exhale of relief in me that I can barely describe it!

The whole point is to usher in the energy of newness and activated purpose of 2017. Where as this year has been about shedding, next year is going to be about growing new vibrant, glowing and radiant skin. Next year is going to be about being able to step naked and shining into your purpose as though you've been newly baptized and recommissioned onto a new path. 

I can barely express my excitement and gratitude for that lol! Seriously though, I'm sure that you can resonate with what I'm saying. I'm sure I'm not the only one of us who has let go of much this year and held onto hope that the goals and dreams we've clung to and allowed to percolate and evolve over this year would begin to solidly manifest at some point soon. 

For instance, in my case, I've been working on how to bring together what I can offer you. I created small programs and then came to the realization that these would only get you surface results. I got clearer on what transformation from working with me looks like and exactly how I've chosen thriving in life and how I can help you make the same choice for happiness and vibrant living (thriving!). I admitted that it's a system and not a quick fix, one you need to commit to, one that you need to allow time for. And I realized that only in-depth work would take you from where you are to where you want to go. 

And that has been a process believe me. A process of understanding and reassessing and adjusting and more understanding. And in the meantime, life was going on with it's regular bumps and fun not fun trials too. 

But here I am - here we are - at the end of the cycle, ready to give that last heave-ho and concerted effort to release anything else that's lingering around holding us back. It's time because who wants to take that unnecessary baggage into 2017? I know I don't! 

Tomorrow I'm going to be livestreaming from my Facebook Page about the full moon and giving some more of my insights and suggestions on how you can use that energy in your own life as well. I'm not quite sure what time of day it will be but I'm shooting for early morning :-). 

The beautiful thing about FB Live videos is that you can catch it later if you miss it live. So be sure to stop over there at some point tomorrow and check it out. 

So my love, here's to heralding in new amazing energy and releasing every bit of the stagnation that is still holding us back. Woohoo!!!

Lots of love <3!

Fear Vs. Opportunity

Hey love <3, 

I know that we've had a TOUGH few days. I wanted to send this to you yesterday but I know today it will still help - if you are in need of help to feel better about the state of things. 

I think what's most important is that you and me - we - remember all of the examples in our own lives where choosing the higher path of love changed things in an instant. I'm talking about moments where you smiled at someone, you held the door open, you conceded that you were wrong and apologized..even when you gave someone a hug that needed it. These are the acts, thoughts, and deeds that will change us and those around us into the people we wish they were and we wish we were. That little bit of extra effort is going to be so worth it. 

I talked about this in a FB Live Chat yesterday morning as it all was sinking in. You can watch it here. Now is the time to challenge yourself to be encouraged. So much is riding on it in these days <3.

Always love!


P.S.If you are feeling dazed and need help moving forward, I am here for you! You can reach out via my Tarot page (just click on the image below) or by hopping on my schedule at calendly.com/leahpatterson  

Being A Voice of Hope

I’ve been hemming and hawing around this post for a few days. I’d like to think it’s because the ideas have just been materializing and maybe there is some truth to that. Closer to the truth though is that what I’m going to write about is heavy and so I’ve been avoiding it.

You may have noticed that I uploaded two new posts to the blog. These were articles that I wrote and published on Huffington Post and then realized needed to be here as well. They are about suicide, depression, and anxiety. Yep, those are things I know a lot about.

I attempted suicide in 2008 and I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. I *successfully* manage them both now and suicide is an option I’ve decided not to choose. And in the tumultuous changes I’ve undergone in 2016, I’ve found myself called to share my experiences and be an example of how you can overcome them.

It started with an intense urge to do 3 specific Facebook Live videos during Suicide Prevention Month in September. 1 about How to Bounce Back from a Suicide Attempt, 2 about Why Remembering Your Story is Important and 3 about What to do about your Moody Friend.

I finally did them and with that, I realized how much my message was needed. Many people reached out to me after each video and expressed how much it helped or meant to them.

I kept getting confirmation on all levels that the things that I had learned over the years to start shifting the scale to more good days than bad days were extremely important to share.

I was reminded that the encouragement to stay above ground and to keep pushing forward to feeling better was something that I needed and didn’t always get. And I also remembered how much it meant when I did get it.

So I felt compelled to show up for the work that the Universe was calling me to do. How could I not? How could I deny that I could clearly see how all my experiences were preparing me for this? I could not with honestly sit back and say no Universe, you've got the wrong girl.

But then my own life hit hard. And I experienced a slew of stressful moments, rockiness and test upon tests. If my year has been about decluttering everything that isn’t moving me forward, this particular bent felt like what activated charcoal does to you – violently rids you of *ANYTHING* that’s still hiding out.

So yeah, I began to doubt that my voice was necessary and that this was the path laying out in front of me.

Then in the span of two weeks, I found out a salsa friend had committed suicide. I was drawn inexplicably to a woman online and found out that her husband killed himself back in August, though he was adored and loved by seemingly everyone. This morning I read about a young 12-year-old boy who self-harms and has threatened suicide many times.

I know that the Universe was speaking to me – telling me Leah – people still need a voice. They need a voice to speak for them and to them. You have to be a part of that.

So I know now that without a doubt being an advocate for suicide survivors like me and those suffering from anxiety and depression is a part of this next phase of my life. If my message can give someone who is where I was CONCRETE HOPE, the strength of belief, or even the flicker of possibility, I will share it over and over again. I will make it a big part of what I do and infuse that message into all the rest of the things I do as well.

I’m ready to be a Voice of Hope for anyone who needs to hear it. 

3 Ways to Bounce Back from a Suicide Attempt

Originally published on Huffington Post, I decided that this needed to be here as well :). 
*************
I am a suicide survivor. Not in the sense that is often used today – someone who’s left behind when a person commits suicide. I am in fact a suicide attempt survivor. I opted to take my life on a lonely night out of the country at a friend’s house when life had gotten particularly low. It is only because some small sliver of hope still had a voice in me that I am alive today. That voice convinced me to call my counselor and after a lot of talking, my counselor convinced me to call 911.

There was a moment when she didn’t think that I would call. And she was prepared to be with me while I died over that phone line. I think that her willingness to be with me in what could have been my final moment is what tipped my scales and got me to call.

What resulted was a horrible experience of ambulances, hospitals, embarrassment, and mostly shame.

Bouncing back wasn’t easy. And that is what this article is about.

With this being Suicide Prevention Month, my thoughts went back to that time 8 years ago. Things had gotten so bad in my mind that suicide seemed to be my best choice. At that time, I didn’t think I mattered and my self-loathing was overwhelming. After my suicide attempt, every single moment was a struggle. I had no idea how I was going to make it now that I had decided to live.

I am such a different person now. The new people in my life wouldn’t believe that I’d ever been severely depressed, let alone suicidal. They’d hardly believe that I even still deal with depression and anxiety and that I’ve just learned effective coping strategies and radical self-care practices that have led me out of the bad zones. They see me as a bright, bubbly, always positive ray of sunshine.

“After my suicide attempt, every single moment was a struggle. I had no idea how I was going to make it now that I had decided to live.”

So how did I get here? How did I get from where I was 8 years ago, trying to bounce back from a suicide attempt on my own to bright and silver lining focused?

It was a long process but these are three of the first steps I took.

1. Distraction

When I attempted suicide, I was in a foreign country and without close friends or family. After my hospital experience, I had to ride a bus 16 plus hours back home to a city where I didn’t have anyone but my counselor to help me rebuild. Suffice it to say that I was clearly still in danger mentally. One of the first things that helped me stay alive was distraction. Heavy thoughts were no good at all. So to keep my mind occupied, I distracted myself with any and everything. That meant becoming hyper focused on whatever was in front of me. I let myself get distracted by the people around me, by the pattern on the seats, by choosing what snack to grab from the vending machine etc. Anything that would occupy my mind sufficed. I just had to keep my mind busy and the busier I could keep my mind, the more time would pass and then all of a sudden, I would have gotten through a day. And another day. And another day. For a long time, that’s exactly how I made it.

2. Mini-victories

When I think about the way that I thought before, it amazes me that I survived. I even had the belief once that not being able to successfully kill myself was yet another example of my inadequacy. Inadequacy was a major theme and being a failure ran through the core of that. So when I was rebuilding myself, I had to make my focus small. I told myself that just for right now, any little thing I do is a reason to celebrate. If I got out of bed that day, I celebrated. If I made tea that day, I celebrated. Actually making dinner – that was cause for bells and whistles.

It didn’t matter that I didn’t have anyone to celebrate with me. I wrote my little wins down in my journal and reminded myself that I was doing so well. I reminded myself that I was just a short time away from deciding that I didn’t want to be around anymore, so just the fact that I’d decided to stay was major. I reminded myself that I had at least earned the right to just focus on the small things. I comforted myself and patted my own self on the back. And I told myself that just for right now, that would be ok.

3. An Important Promise

This is probably the most important thing that I did. I was lucky that there was someone around me that made me make this promise because it’s not something I thought of on my own. I think of this woman as my angel. She looked me in the eyes and she made me promise to her that no matter what, I would never attempt suicide again. And as hard as it was at the time, I promised her. To this day, that promise has been a savior in my life. There have been times that this promise has been the hook that has pulled me out of a depressive spiral. Many times it has been the catalyst that has spurred me on to get help when I’ve needed it.

Why does a promise have so much power? It’s not the promise part, because you can make promises to yourself that you justify breaking. It’s much more about who you make that promise to and what disappointing that person would mean for you. In my case, disappointing this beautiful woman that treated me so lovingly at a time when I really needed it was and is unbearable to think of. That is the key. Make your promise to someone that it would be unbearable to disappoint and it will keep you true to it. Find that person in your life – maybe she’s the recovery nurse or your best friend or your daughter or son or your great aunt or even someone who popped into your life for just a brief moment. What matters is that their opinion of and faith in you matters more to you than giving in to your sadness and angst.

“That is the key. Make your promise to someone that it would be unbearable to disappoint and it will keep you true to it.”

This is heavy stuff and the journey from attempting suicide to knowing without a doubt that you are loved and wanted and valuable can be a long one. But it starts with tiny steps. Putting one figurative foot in front of the other is the path forward. These are the tiny steps that set me on my path and my hope is that they can help you step forward on yours. I invite you to join me over in my Facebook Group Inner Goddess/Outer Glow where I share more about the tips and technique that I use everyday to keeping taking those positive steps forward. In the resource files there, you’ll find articles and worksheets that will help you along your way!

Returning to Blogging

It's been a long time since I've written huh? It's not that I haven't been writing - it's just that I've been writing elsewhere. I started writing for the Huffington Post and next month I will start writing for Thrive Global, Ariana Huffington's latest project. I've also been writing for Best Kept Self and mostly I've been writing for myself to myself in my lovely little journals in an attempt to figure as much of everything out as possible. 

I suppose this is my coming to Jesus moment so to speak :-). I'll admit, I've been so busy and concerned about running a business the 'right' way, that I've actually not been working in my business but instead working on my business. That's fun and all but you can quickly and easily approach burnout. You feel like you are the only one doing everything (you mostly are) and there's never enough time for anything. 

It's stressful and it's not soul soothing. 

It takes you out of alignment and you forget why you are doing what you do in the first place. 

And then you start to doubt. And then that's when my particular downward spiral starts. 

So today, I'm returning back to my basics - back to the reasons I started this blog and even the reasons that I began teaching all those years ago anyway. I wanted people to feel empowered. I wanted people to know exactly how they could heal themselves. On all levels. I wanted people to know that it's possible to live life happy and on purpose. 

That is what is in alignment with my soul and my spirit. I'm not sure how that's going to turn into the type of income that frees me from worrying about ends meeting each month and through the month. I just know that right now, I need more than ever to be the truest to myself. 

And the interesting thing is that it is truly a nuanced thing. Because I am always endeavoring to operate out of my truth. But I am also wired to think about what would be the most pleasing to someone else. What I'm realizing though in the forefront of my mind (instead of in my afterthoughts and subconscious) is that it has to be pleasing to me first. When I do pleasing to me, I attract those that it's also pleasing to. 

Someone reminded me today that we are in a new paradigm. The old way of doing things, of bulldozing through, of making it happen on intent and will alone, on pushing harder, faster, and stronger - that this way is old, outdated, and doesn't even work anymore.

The new way is to be led by intuition, to continuously be tapping in and listening for and to divine inspiration. This is a way that comes naturally to me. I've always been led by my intuition, even to what seemed like at the time, a fault. It's affirming to know that the paradigm is shifting in my favor :). 

So what to expect? I'm not super sure. I'm going to let myself feel it out. I know that I'm going to dive into teaching more. I love to teach. I feel called to teach. I feel called to empower you through my hands on, tangible, teaching work. I feel called to motivate you to love yourself enough to show it in the physical realm and not just the mental. 

And I'm going to create more and just put it out there. And I'm not going to worry about the end result. I'm going to focus on the inspired action and let that be my guide. The right people will find me and what you need from me, you'll receive :). 

I'm believing it babe :). 

Stay tuned as I show you the truth of it :). 

Essential Oils Repel Mosquitoes

Hey hey and happy Friday! Today's post involves one of my favorite items, essential oils :). You probably already know how much I appreciate essential oils and all they can do for us on multiple levels. 

Well a few days ago on my Facebook Page, I did a video talking about Lavender essential oil and how it can repel mosquitoes and the video below is all about Lemongrass. I also give you a simple recipe for making your own bug repellent spray. It really is quite easy! Check it out and let me know if you have any questions! Also remember that the 7 Days to Clear Skin Challenge starts this Monday! If you haven't signed up, you can now at bit.ly/7clearskin I'm so looking forward to taking you on this skincare journey and so I hope you join us!

 

 

Essential Oils that Repel Mosquitoes

---

In addition to educating you via my blog, I also work with clients one – on – one to achieve not only their skincare goals but to set them on the path to achieving their life goals as well through finding balance and vibrant living in mind, body, and spirit!

If you are looking for this kind of help, I’d love to jump on a call with you and talk about it!

Reach out to me here and we can set something up! <3!

Sacrifices and Conversations

Well I've had an adventuresome past few days :). My biggest good news is that my makeup line MOVE Makeup is going to be available on Walmart.com! You may have seen my announcement on my Facebook Page and I've shared it all over my various MOVE Makeup social media worlds so I won't go into all of the details here to spare you :). What I do want to talk about today is making sacrifices for the things that are important to you and how I prepared for mine. I will explain. 

I'm about 3 weeks post surgery. The big meeting with Walmart was in Bentonville, AR which is about 3 hours from where I live. I needed to get there the day before the meeting and attend the Open Summit/Buyer Meeting event the next day from 8am until at least 2pm with my buyer meeting at 12:10. The day involved a lot of walking and keeping it together so suffice it to say, I was good and exhausted that evening and next day! But I also wanted to spend time with my family - so I mustered up the energy to do touristy fun things with them while we were in Bentonville too.

So when I got home on Thursday, the crash began and by Friday, I was sick in bed and am pretty much just now coming out of the haze - sort of, lol :).

Some might think that I did too much - that I took too big of a risk.

But for me, there really was no choice. I knew that this buyer meeting with Walmart might be the very key to making the kind of impact that I want to make in the world and I knew that I wanted to be/needed to be at that meeting. I knew that, whatever it took, I had to make that happen. 

But of course, in saying this I wasn't saying to the Universe "I don't mind compromising my health and ability to recover - this potential deal is more important than me". Not at all and so that meant I needed to start talking with the Universe and asking for what I wanted. 

The moment I knew that my surgery and the meeting would overlap so closely, I began visualizing myself healing quickly and completely and feeling energized and refreshed and well by week 2. I only allowed the thought that I would be ready and feeling great to enter my mind when I thought about traveling to Bentonville. I only thought about doing a fantastic presentation and feeling at ease, competent and worry free.

I never let myself think that I might not be up to it. And so the Universe conspired to make that happen.

I truly did feel wonderful the days before the trip. The Universe even kicked in unexpected help and support on the day of the meeting so that I would not be alone. I had a ride to every place I needed to be. I had beautiful support from all around. I truly didn't have a worry at all. The entire trip was a joy. And the best thing wasn't what you might think. The best thing is that I had nothing but time after the trip. That was my compromise with the Universe - that I would rest and truly recoup after the trip. I would make sure that I allowed myself the time to make up for the strenuousness.

And funny thing, the Universe (since it knows me well) made sure that my workaholic habits would not be able to kick in by sending a cold and cramps, lol. (Here's a little secret - that actually might have been me subconsciously throwing in some assurances - what you think is what shows up right?)

---

So the moral to this story? After a major surgery like the one I had, 2 weeks post surgery one should not be going anywhere, let alone 3 hours away to a major conference.

I did because I got the Universe on my side. 

Your takeaway for today is to ask yourself how you can get the Universe on your side. When you know that something is important to you, but there are tons of unknown variables, how can you converse with the Universe to sway the tide in your favor?

Figure out for yourself what conversations you need to have and start having them as soon as possible.

Good food for thought and fuel for your next big thing ;-). 

---

Needing some more inspiration? Check out this post and this one!