Why Pill Shaming Sucks...

I’ve tried to write this article so many times. In fact I’m up way later than I need to be in another attempt to write this very important article. I can be candid with you though. I’m afraid. I’m afraid of the second layer of stigma that will come with this admittance. I’ve fought and eased my way through the first layer until we got to here - where it no longer bothers me to tell someone my depression story. I can - without many skips of beats - talk about my suicide attempt and how far I’ve come and how willing I am to help someone else see the light of recovery.

But this next layer is so tricky. This next layer involves so much shame and blame and uncertainty mixed with certainty, doubt - and experience that proves otherwise. I’m talking about the layer where I admit that I take Wellbutrin and my dosage just increased.

Is that incredibly courageous or incredibly weak? Is that something to file away in the mental vault of a scarlet-letter type secret or something to wear as a badge of strength instead?

I want to tell you that I always find myself on the side of courage and strength. But I’d be lying if I told you that. Just recently in fact, I had an experience with a dearly beloved who thinks my choice to take medication is a crutch and that I am willfully taking the easy way out. This dear one is convinced that the hard things are the ones you should be doing. Work harder Leah he says. Work harder. Get off the meds and work harder.

And for a good long minute, I wondered if he was right. Am I just lazy about my self improvement? Am I just not working hard enough? Am I really taking the easy way out, medicating myself? Have I given up on myself in some crucial way?

I felt the shame. I felt the judgement (even though he assured me that he wasn’t judging me). I felt his refusal to understand why my medication could ever be something good for me, even if just for right now. I felt it all. But then I remembered who I am.

This is going to go there, so stay with me through the woo woo. I remembered that I AM is just enough. I AM is. The rest is just details. They are the details of this life that I get to experience. They are the details that I get to choose and evaluate for myself and then make more choices. I don’t ever have to *get it right* or do it the way that works for anyone else simply because I am not anyone else. And that means that there is no standard that I have to ascribe to.

That shame I was feeling, that’s based on duality. The duality that he is right and I am wrong. But that is a *this* level view and now, because of all the work I’ve done on self, I have a *higher* level view. That view shows that he is right and *I* am right.

I am always right for me. And the more that I connect with and get to know, accept and love myself, the closer this rightness gets to linking me up with my bliss expressed. But I’m always on the right path. And I don’t have to go faster than I’m comfortable going and I don’t have to take the steps that someone else would take. They wouldn’t stick for me anyway, *until I’m ready for them*.

So. I may be ready to take the next step of choosing no medication one day soon or one day later. I know for instance that when I’m blessed with pregnancy (keep the good vibes going my friends!), that it’s something I’ve already decided I want to explore.

The baseline point though is that I must take every step forward *when I’m ready*. And only me and the Universe really know when that is.

And that’s what I want to leave you with. The beautiful and sometimes frustrating thing about life is that, you can get advice, input and suggestions, but the final decisions always lie with you.

You do have a beautiful guide though in your own intuition. You just have to get quiet enough and practice enough to hear it <3.

On Dec. 11th, I’m hosting a live 5-day mini-course on Minding Your Happiness. We will be exploring exactly how to get quiet and listen and choose for ourselves. I invite you to join me. You can sign up for it here: http://Mindset.leahpatterson.com

How to Discover the Language of Your Spark

I did it. I finally finally did it. I’ve been hemming and hawing over officially beginning this new video project for about 6 months at least. To be fair, I’m easing into reminding myself that incubation periods are important and real. So even though it felt like procrastination and fear and the forever excuse of “when do I find the time?”, I’m ever amazed at how when the time is right, it really is right.

I have become a firm believer that waiting for inspiration is worth it. My favorite phrase for the past 2 years has been I take “inspired action*.

So finally, through a series of really difficult, heart-breaking events, I happened upon a quest to understand some more things about myself. Through the awe-inspiring serendipity of the universe, I happened to see an article about INFJs which peaked my interest because that’s my Meyers Brigg personality type. And resonating so so so strongly with that article was the first step towards a level of validation that I have not felt before.

And I have to just attribute it to timing - because I’ve known about my personality type for a long while and I’ve done research in understanding myself from this perspective before. But really and truly, this time around, all of my quirks just made sense. My approach to life, my desires, my difficulties, my perspectives - they just all came together under this lense.

And weirdly enough, somewhere deep within me, a click happened. A click of *rightness*, as in Leah is not tragically flawed..everything in Leah is *right* - when all of my life, that place had been stuck on *the way Leah is made up is *wrong* and we just have to push through that.

And this is super subtle. Because believe me, I have worked through so many layers of thinking I was tragically flawed and cursed and I *am* at a place where I no longer believe that. This is way deeper than that. This is on the level of believing for so long subconsciously that I didn’t have a tribe or anyone out there in the world like me - and then realizing that OMG, I DO! I DO belong somewhere! There ARE people who are wired the exact same way as I am and they are living valid, affirmed, supported, triumphant lives. It *is* possible.

And let me try to explain this because I know it may sound weird, especially coming from me. What I’m trying to say is that, I’ve always been very in sync with the urges of my soul. I’ve always known my desires to impact, to teach, to inspire, to empower - to leave a place and a person with more access to love than I found them/it.

But I always felt like I was this oddball chick. Why couldn’t I just be ok with being an engineer. Why not go work for Kraft like everyone else for goodness sake. Why not make a bunch of money now and do things I love and that matter to me later. Why why why why do I care so much? Why am I so hellbent on making a difference. Why did God make me this way? Why can’t I just be content with how everyone else does it?

I never really knew there was a reason for this other than, I was just odd and extra and God made me different.

I can only imagine what my life would have been like if someone had told me that my personality type was INFJ and so I was legitimately wired this way and then nurtured my innate talents and helped me make sense of the rest. I mean, had someone just acknowledged that me feeling like I was dieing a slow death working at Merck for instance, was a valid feeling for me and then helped me to work through it and take sensible (instead of erractic - very INFJ under pressure like) steps towards something more fulfilling - how different my life would have *felt*. And that’s just one example. I can see so many moments in my life now where that level of awareness would have made such a difference - where I was being my natural INFJ self,  but to everyone else I was just being extra.

I know that my stops and starts would have been less. I know that my *inner* confidence (because my outer, *make it happen* confidence was always on point) would have been so much greater. I know that I wouldn’t have spent so much time feeling like I had to *prove* myself and *prove* that my dreams and goals were valid and that my decisions made sense. I wouldn’t have secretly been questioning it all myself.

But the journey is purposeful right? I’ve always said that I believe that the Universe has given me all of these experiences because I am incredibly strong. That is one of my superpowers. God knew that - though it might get crazily, dangerously tough - the will to try again that he infused me with would win every time. And I believe now that I know a bit of what all that is about. Because of my journey, I can help you navigate your journey. The clarity that comes from just being acknowledged where you are and validated is life-changing. Trust me, every time I experience it (like just recently in discovering more about my INFJ self), it’s a miraculous up-leveling event and it propels me into a new version of myself :-).

If you are needing some of this love, upleveling and validation I have two suggestions for you!

1. go over right now and find out your personality type. I’m telling you, it will feel transformational to *know* your quirks are understandable.

And

2. Schedule a call with me to help you decipher and create a plan to use this information to empower yourself and step into a new version of the happy you. More happiness is possible - trust me ;-). Click here to schedule.

The One Thing that Will Turn Your Day Around

A few nights ago, I was in agony. I needed to revise my bio and get it out to the organizer of an event I'm going to be speaking at. But I just couldn't get the feels going to talk about myself in any way that seemed genuine and not rose-colored glass focused. It just all seemed too much.

Have you ever felt like that? Like all the hype about yourself can't possibly be true and that eventually someone's going to figure it out and go "oh, she's not all that".

Or this one gets me often - the "so what". So what that you've done this and that. So what that you care about this and that. What difference does it make. Who cares.

Yeah, so I was in a tizzy of a place to say the least :-).

But today I woke up and though the going was slow, I carefully chose my thoughts. I had a moment in bed where I had the choice of thinking something good or thinking something depressing for instance. And I *chose* the good thought.

I had countless moments throughout the beginning of the day where I could have folded into a "see this is how it is all the time - woe is me" space or chosen the "okedoke, how do I rock with this and move through it" space. At each turn, I chose the work through it option.

And by the middle of the day, don't you know that I was rocking it out on all levels! I mean I gave my dogs a bath, I cleaned my refrigerator, I mopped two rooms, packaged some makeup, had two fun phone calls (one with a totally new guy and the other with my mentor soon to be new coach!), AND confirmed a speaking engagement for this weekend. And I even made myself dinner.

5 days after surgery..."Dusts her shoulders off ;-)".

So I'm saying this all not to brag, lol but to let you know that sometimes it takes conscious effort but the conscious effort is *always* rewarding. Every single time :-D.
 

Where are you going to put your effort today? 

How to minimize stress and overcome anxiety

Hey siStar,

I want to tell you a story. It’s a story about me and it’s fairly recent. It’s a story about how I could be devastated and heartbroken, yet still be balanced and focused enough to keep hold of my hope and faith. It’s a story about what it has taken to move from a place of letting every upset, stress and discomfort throw me off track and convince me that the unspoken fears in my mind just might be true to a place where I can admit sadness and still see the bright glow of the sunrise of my dreams and goals on the horizon.

How is this possible?

It’s because of the work I’ve done to love myself deeply. It’s because of all that I have learned and put into practice about what that truly means. I had to learn what it really meant to take care of myself. I had to learn what it really meant to *listen* to myself and *hear* all the layers of what I tell myself. I’ve had to learn how to see through to the truth of who I am at my very core and begin to understand why I’ve taken on so many other versions of myself that just aren’t true.

And then I had to begin the work of telling myself something different. And then doing something different. And then finally - through a lot of trial and error and *patience* - I began to feel something different. I began to feel like life *was* working out for me. That I was *just* as entitled to a happy road as anyone else. And that in fact, I could create it with a lot more ease than I thought.

Getting to this place is nothing short of magickal. Magickal is truly the best word to describe it. The sense of potential that I have now about life is magnetic - figuratively and literally. I’m constantly bringing in experiences now that can only be explained by coincidence or serendipity and I choose to believe in the latter.

I want to help you experience this and I know that if you are sitting in a cesspool of anxiety, overwhelm, and stress (could this be you?) the first steps have to be about cleaning up the muck and putting an immediate halt on those feelings. Immediate relief is the step before the step of peeling back the layers and making the permanent changes that get you to the magickal place of peace, calm and sanity.

That’s why I created The Mighty Overwhelm MInimizer Course. My first version of this course was a mini introduction to how to immediately reduce the feelings of overwhelm, stress and anxiety (usually followed by our friend depression). I felt strongly compelled though in the past month to expand and fill out this course so that it isn’t just an introduction, but a true guidepost for you in taking these transformative steps forward.

In this course I will teach you:

** The power of gratitude and why it’s essential to your foundation

** The gift that aromatherapy gives in combatting anxiety and depression

** How to choose the right self-care actions for yourself and customize your own *effective* self care plan

** How to diffuse overwhelm from the viewpoint of self-love

And so much more!

I’ve designed this course to be powerful, transformative and life altering. And furthermore, I’ve designed it to be easy to digest, powerfully effective and simple to implement. If you’ve been feeling on edge, out of whack and in desperate need of some type of break, I encourage you to make this investment in your peace, calm and sanity.

I am so excited about sharing this course with you that I made it extremely affordable for you at $197 so you can experience the same results as me. In fact, I’ve packed this program with an incredibly valuable bonus to support you in your transformation. I wanted to make this available to all participants, but I knew this no-brainer would usher an influx of participants who would be eager for personal time to explore particular blocks. I incorporate the help of the Tarot and look into concrete ways to overcome them energetically and tangibly. Due to the amount of time and energy I invest personally into my “clients”, I truly have to limit that number.

You not only get the Mighty Overwhelm Minimizer Course, but you get an in depth, 90-minute, one-on-one intuitive coaching breakthrough session, valued at ($250).  This package, including our interaction together is easily worth more than $600, however, I want to make it completely accessible and cost-effective for you at $197. However, the bonus is only available through midnight tonight, CST.

Simply press the button below to get access. If you’re anything like me, I know you want to embrace a moment to exhale and release anxiety and the guilt and pain it causes  and gain peace of mind, calm and sanity.

Don’t worry. You have support in the journey. In fact, if you have any questions, I am here for you. Just click here to message me <3. 

Bachata, Livestreaming and Clarity...

Hey siStar!

How has your week been? Mine has been filled with the ups and downs of life. I've had some very low points and thankfully some ecstatically high points and my week is ending settled somewhere nicely in between. Lots of gratitude for that :-).

I have a busy weekend ahead of myself also with judging and teaching in Memphis. I'm judging a bachata contest tonight and tomorrow I'm teaching a ladies styling workshop. And the most unique thing happening is that after my workshop, I'm going to have a little informal talk with the attendees about how dance can be a powerful form of self-empowerment for women. I always imply this and if you've been with me for a while, you probably already know that I feel this way. However I've never combined both my dance world and my personal development world in the same offering. 

It's what I've been wanting to do though. So when the universe dropped this opportunity for a workshop in my lap in a place where people already know me well, I knew I had to take the chance to move the vision forward just a bit. 

So I'm curiously hopeful and expecting of a really gratifying experience and I will of course report back about how it all goes. (And if you are wondering will I mention MOVE, of course I will! Sweatproof, natural makeup is absolutely empowering, especially for dancers.). 

Before I say adieu this week, I want to leave you with my latest livestream on my personal Facebook page. Yesterday eve I talked all about the new direction that I'm boldly headed in with my coaching work. It's what I've always been doing but just hadn't realized. Watch it here and let me know your thoughts in the comments. I would love to hear what you think about it! 

The Gift of Gallstones

I’ve been sitting down to write this blogpost for a few days now and each time, have either just felt uninspired or actually ran out of time. There’s so much going on in my life, tons of lessons and insights I want to share :). Tons of growth opportunities and ways to make powerful choices in the moment.

But so my message doesn’t get too long and you can get on with your day without feeling stressed over reading for ten minutes, let me tell you about one of the most impactful things.

Just about a little over a week ago, I found myself in the emergency room in NWA in immense pain afraid that something was really wrong. Let me backtrack to a few weeks ago, about a month and a half to be exact. That’s when I first started to feel nauseous all the time. I was feeling nauseated every day almost without fail. At first of course, I wondered if I was pregnant, then my cycle came and I just thought it might be a factor of getting older and my PMS symptoms changing. Then I realized that it just wasn’t going away and that’s when I went to the doctor. He couldn’t figure out any causes so he prescribed acid reflux medicine and told me to basically wait it out. I had one bad night of vomiting but I just chalked it up to too much pizza and wine.

At the emergency room is where I found out that I have gallstones. Insert a sad face and a surprised face. Are you thinking what I’m thinking - that is, if you even know what gallstones are?

That’s right, how do *I* have gallstones?

I’m not overweight. I eat healthier than most. I’m active. I’m constantly working on my emotional blocks (because all physical ailments are rooted in emotional space).

It just honestly doesn’t make much sense.

Yet we know that there are tons of things in our lives that make little sense. The joy of life comes in accepting what is with gratitude and moving forward expecting that things are already getting better.  

So after an initial few shaky days after my diagnosis feeling afraid to eat and like it was unfair that the universe would give me this to deal with too, I’ve been able to get my bearings and my perspective back. I’ve been able to easily choose to see the gift in this diagnosis instead of the burden.

Remember a few weeks ago when I said I was committing to getting my health back on track the way I feel best? Well now I have major motivation! The age old saying is that pain is the most effective motivator. The pain of a gallstone attack is something that I pray to the Universe that I never experience ever again.

It’s been SUPER easy to say no to cookies, fast food, ice cream, treats, processed foods, etc. All of the things that everyone should be eating in moderation at the most, I can’t eat at all now (save for maybe once a year and that’s only if i take the right precautions before and after).

I admit that It’s been a challenge figuring out what I can eat and I’ve had some real shaky moments at checkout counters where I was close to tears trying to order what I thought would be ok.

But I feel like I’m getting my balance back. I can say that this week, I’ve mostly felt pretty good. The all-the-time nausea has mostly subsided and although some foods bring on that uncomfortable feeling, I’ve been able to manage it and make note. The best thing is that I have NOT had another attack. And another little happy - I’ve lost about 7 pds already. Who knew that my occasional cookie or Chick-Fila meal was having such an effect!

So I am determined to manage this with being even more mindful about my diet and keeping up with my commitment to exercise. I do have an appointment with a surgeon that removes gallbladders on Tuesday because conventional  medicine says once you have gallstone problems, you always will and you must get it out. I’m going to do my best to hold on to mine though unless the doctor tells me it truly is damaged. I feel encouraged however by how much better I’ve been feeling already.

I’m willing to continue walking my path with this new addition without letting it change my stride :-). And at the least, it will definitely give me more interesting things to share with you down the road.

---

Have you gotten your copy of 3 Beauty Rituals for Phenomenal Self Care? If not, click here to request it!

Inner/Outer Beauty Activation Package

A few days ago I was hit with some wonderful inspiration around creating an offering that would provide a solid foundation for activating both inner and outer beauty. You know I'm all about how we want to match up our outer enhancements with a beautiful inner self that shines through no matter what!

SO my inspiration has resulted in the Inner/Outer Beauty Activation Package!

It's 3-fold. This is what I will do for you:

Firstly, I want you to know what is blocking your ability to shine confidently. What's holding you back from stepping fully into what you are being drawn to? What hidden doubts, secrets, worries and fears lie right beneath the surface waiting to be seen and resolved? I will do an intuitive tarot reading for you shining the light on these things so that you can finally take the steps forward that you've been wanting to for so long.

This reading will be the basis for what comes next. What comes next is the assembly of your special MOVE Makeup Inner to Outer Beauty makeup set. You'll receive your confidence building basics - full-size foundation, concealer, and veil. More importantly though, you'll receive a specially customized eyeshadow set designed to address the blocks that came up in your reading. If you haven't read my article about how eyeshadow can be used for empowerment, go do that now (http://www.bestkeptself.com/whats-your-color-eyeshadows-for-empowerment/).

Lastly, you'll receive an essential oil blend that I customize just for you to enhance and anchor in your reading and to inspire within you new courage to shine confidently.

The investment for all of this is $97.

I'm excited about this. I'm excited to see who takes me up on this offer and truly if *anyone* takes me up on this offer. I'm excited to see how the inspiration to create this package leads me to the next thing for me.

I have no idea if I will offer this again. I have no idea how many of these I will actually accept doing. I don't have a fancy page created for this offering or even a listing in my store or jazzed up picture (I'm working on that though ;-)). I've just felt inspired to do it and this is how that inspiration is manifesting <3.

Thank you sistar for your awesomeness! If I can serve you with this, message me (on mobile you might have to copy and paste info@leahpatterson.com) and we will get started!