So yes, it's been a super long time since I've written anything. Life has taken me in completely different directions - all to bring me back around to myself. I've definitely had lots to talk about each moon - many different ways they have affected me, helped me see more clearly, rocked my complete core and rebuilt me anew.
This new moon has been no different. It's been quite the ride in fact, and with the year ending very soon, it's a perfect time to assess and share. But I haven't felt like writing about it until now.
As you probably know if you know me, I'm multi-faceted. At any moment, I could be engaged in a bazillion different things and I always have a couple of irons in the fire. It's just the way I work.
But with maturity and growth, I've been realizing how good it feels to really hone in and focus. This isn't a new skill. It's just something that I'm doing with less fight and less beating myself up. It feels extra good to say "yep, that's a great idea. I'm going to put it on the later list." That has felt amazingly good.
And so for the past 2 months, I've been disciplining myself and lasering in on only one major goal, launching my new online dance course, Sexy Confidence at Every Age.
Fall/Winter is typically when my dance work picks up - people really enjoy taking classes at this time of the year for some reason (I think it's because we've all been conditioned to think of the fall as back to business time - get in a class and learn something :-)).
I wanted to try to take it beyond the face to face classes this year though. I wanted to see if I could really do the online class thing - the way I've seen so many others do it, the way I know I'm innately, naturally wired to be great at. I'm a dang good teacher and regardless if I'm face to face or online, you're gonna get your aha moment ;-).
And I wanted to see if I could actually infuse a simple online dance course with my special sauce of empowerment and confidence building.
I worried about so many things. From the basics of audio and video to the more intangibles like will people be happy with this. Will it be too woo woo or not woo woo enough? Will there be too little instruction or too much? Will they feel overburdened or underwhelmed?
But I launched it anyway - "launched it dirty" as my launch coach would say (yep, I enrolled in a course to help me get it done.) And though, it didn't go as I planned, gosh I learned so much. I've grown so much. I put myself out there with PURPOSE - which I hadn't really been doing in what feels like a long time. And on this backside of it, I can absolutely see how this has all been working with the bigger themes of my life and especially with the bigger themes going on in the Universe right now.
Talk about self-love on steroids. Talk about the stark truth of choice - the one that you get to know only by choosing your focus. Talk about the realness of do or die moments.
All of the work I've done this year, all the pivoting, all of the "this way, no that way" - it's all been about what I've been feeling with this Sag New Moon. It's all been preparing me for the breaking point that this Sag New Moon has dangled in front of definitely me - probably you too.
I like to think of it as a breaking open point. A point where you get to say ok, who am I going to really be from now on. Am I going to go ahead and flow with this bubbling, charged momentum that I feel, regardless of how random and unmatching reality it seems? Or am I going to get stuck in reality? And drag my feet. Break my arrow on the ground, bash up my bow and sulk?
Who am I going to be? Am I going to be who I am? Or am I going to kick and scream to be the old stuck, dusty, greyer version of myself? Am I going to cling to my stories even if they offer me only a slow death? Or am I going to fling myself free and fly completely new, naked and unknown - learning the new me along the way?
It's a scary set of choices, I won't lie. Every day, sometimes every moment, I'm reminding myself that it's perfectly ok, safe, and preferred, in fact, to be who I am. That I don't need the old stories or the security blanket they provide. That I can handle stark, open-wide truths, even about myself and even with all the responsibility they bring. That I can handle that much happiness, that much joy, that much being and presence even with that much pain, that much unhappiness, and that much disappointment.
And I think you probably can too. So Happy Sag New Moon to you! May we all be encouraged and a little bit braver <3.